Once people find out that I'm married (especially recently married), the question, "When are you going to have kids?" usually follows next. Oh, my! I've been asked that question soooo many times it's ridiculous. I don't really mind getting asked, but due to my answer I always have to explain myself. My response is always, "Not for awhile. Probably not until I'm 27 or 30ish." People usually respond, "Oh, really?! Why wait so long?" I don't know if people think that I wanted to be a mother shortly after I got married or earlier than most people my age (I'm only 20 folks). Maybe it's because the rest of my married siblings are having kids so it's my turn now. I honestly have no idea, but my husband and I have decided that we are not ready to have kids.** Don't get me wrong. We both LOVE babies/children. We just don't want any of our own right at this moment in time.
Let me explain.
College and work. My husband and I are both students trying to earn our degrees and that's a full time job within itself. I'm in the process of looking for a job, and he has a job with long hours already. I also want to get through classes, graduate, and establish my career before even trying to get pregnant. If I graduate before Chaz, I plan on working until he gets a steady job which will most likely require us to move. I want to stay at home and raise our child(ren), and I can't do that very well until he graduates. I realize that some people still have kids while in school but that's personally not for us.
Disciplining. Yikes! I just don't know what to say specifically besides that I'm going to have a really difficult time with this. I'm not positive on what type of discipline we would use and if we fully agree with each other. Do we solely use one method over another? Combine methods? How do we know when to start disciplining? How do we know when our child knows better, especially when he/she is so young and just a baby? I believe a lot of parents discipline out of anger not love. It truly bothers me to see this happen, and I fear being that parent I despise so much.
Time for us. I know this is very selfish, but we really want to have time between just the two of us. School and work keep us busy right now so having stability in our future jobs will help us with our financial situation as well as flexibility in our schedules.
We both realize that God might surprise us with an unexpected gift, but as far as we are concerned, we are not planning on having children anytime soon.**
**Subject to change without notice.
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Aw I'm excited you've been blogging lately. I like reading them!
ReplyDeleteIt seems as if people expect kids soon after couples tie the knot.. why the rush? (Unless you are like 30 or something). I think you and Chaz are making a smart decision! And when the time is right, it will be wonderful! :)
For now you can enjoy your nieces & nephew(s)! That's a blessing!
I don't think people realize how personal that question is. In some cases, couples ARE trying and can't seem to have babies. I think people should learn not to ask (just my opinion)! :o) Even if a couple isn't trying...whose business is it anyway??
ReplyDeleteBoy, who knew I felt so strongly about that question...lol!